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Filthy Waters in Grand Lake now sporting Deadly Organisms

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You Outsiders may be of the impression that Green Country’s lakes would be clear and safe. How wrong you would be! You see the poop from a billion or so chickens runs straight into our riparian systems and just festers in the hot hot sun, sort of like a petri dish.

So as bad as ‘normal’ is for the poor deluded folk who have lakefront property or who like to recreate on that cesspool, there is an extra special helping of gross for them this Holiday Weekend! The Grand Lake Damn Authority warns that the extremely dangerous Blue-Green Algae has been detected and an emergency meeting has been called to discuss the critical issue.

Our advice? Do not ever plan on vacationing in Oklahoma or Green Country. This kind of stuff happens all the time, and the chances are really good that the issue has been around for awhile but something has forced the hand of the Authoritay – probably some kids died and their deaths were covered up. That kind of stuff happens allll the time, too.

UPDATE: RIGHT AGAIN Sure enough, we have learned that the Grand Lake Algae of Death has been a known issue around disgusting lake country for at least two days. Additionally, the algae is strong enough to ‘kill a dog within an hour.’

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Written by thetulsan

July 1, 2011 at 9:50 am

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