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Gawker does not know what it is talking about: Oklahoma #8 suckiest!

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So how disappointed are we that hipster webster site Gawker has assigned Oklahoma the wildly inaccurately high score of #8 in its august ranking of states from least worse to most suckiest? Pretty dang disappointed.

First off, they state ‘Tulsa is a pretty cultured city, one with a good music scene that birthed, among other notable bands, Hanson.’ Huh? THAT is their justification for saying Trolltown is ‘pretty’ cultured? No mention of Garth, Reba, Brooks & Dunn, Rascall Flats, Carrie Underwear, David Cook, and of course the Kings of Leon. Is that relative to the rest of Oklahoma, or what? Tulsa is cultured like Lawton is cultured. The ‘scene’ in Tulsa is so bland, that one half of its entertainment section’s front page today features a picture of MC Hammer, who is scheduled to appear at the Tulsa State Fair . . . IN SIX WEEKS! Oh man I can hardly frigging wait! ONLY SIX WEEKS UNTIL MC HAMMERTIME!

Secondly, Gawker thinks the pretty mountains are kind of nice, but then thinks the relative flatness in Okieville is a distraction. Gawker wants it both ways, not surprisingly. Funny thing is, most Okies never even leave their County once a year and have probably never even seen the majestic beauty of the Talihinas. If those bumps on the map are a redeeming quality, than any other state outside of Kansas should have been way, way above (below) Okielahomo.

Next, Gawker just cannot get enough mileage out of Sally Kern. She is just the tip of the hateful, spiteful spirit that flows just below the surface in Oklahoma. This state worships sectarianism and differences and sees anyone of a different mindset as pure evil and devilish. They correctly identify that mindset as predominant, but what about Inhoff or Coburn’s stupid utterances?Finally, they get it right when they call Oklahoma a ‘hell-place,’ but ‘wacky’? How about gross, or putrifying pile of vomitus, or STOLENFROMTHEINDIANSVILLE. Also, they correctly note that dying from boredom is a very, very real possibility.

So we are glad that Oklahoma made it to the top ten for worst states, but feel Gawker could have done better and ranked it suckier. If Hanson is the only positive thing to come out of Oklahoma, our sole redeeming quality, we should have ranked higher, er, lower. All the smart kids leave this state to never look back for a reason.

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Written by thetulsan

August 25, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Posted in UGH! Tulsa!

Tagged with , , ,

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