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DO NOT LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT: WRETCHED TULSA TALONS ANNOUNCE MOVE TO SHITTY SAN ANTONIO

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Have you ever been to a Tulsa Talon game? No? Neither has anyone else!! And now after twelve years acting as if we gave a crap about them they are out of here! Good for them!

The unsurprising move follows a few good seasons but mostly crappy ones of a pretend sport called arena football. The entire games were ear blasting commercials with annoying announcers and 30 people scrambling around a hockey-rink sized field. Awful.

Good bye, Tulsa Talons and congratulations on getting out of this backwater hell-hole! Tulsa is so fugging lame it cannot even support a ‘pro’ team for a made-up sport that requires oh, like fifty people in attendance or so a game to break even! Where were they even playing? The City of Tulsa Civic Arena? Convention Center? Pavilion? Does it matter? It does if you are a ‘box holder’ at Big Bob Dick Arena! That is a major selling point in schlepping them extra-wide seats luxury boxes, no?

Do you know much does this stupid County owe for that beast? $180,000,000? Man I hope them out-of-towners keep on a-comin’ because you people owe The Man, and I mean large! If that aidn’t a crime I do not know what is! And this is the town whose delusional aristocracy wanted to perpetuate the hoax that this wretched place could host the 2020 Olympics! Ha! Tulsa is a joke, the Talons are a joke, and the break-up could not have happened to two shittier entities! Win win!

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Written by thetulsan

September 21, 2011 at 9:21 pm

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